I am so Martha...

So just about the time I became a wife, and more recently a mother, is when I truly understood what poor Martha was feeling! Here she was with a special guest in her home, no dishwasher, microwave, or KitchenAid in sight, and like so many of us I'm sure she felt the need to put her best foot forward as host. And of course we all know that feeling of wanting to give a good impression, but realizing at the last-minute that perhaps we've bitten off more than we could chew.

This is the sticky-wicket I imagine Martha was in. Jesus probably stopped by un-announced. Martha was probably in the middle of some cooking or housework when He arrived. And what was she to do other than drop whatever she was doing in order to serve the Lord? I, for one, know how she must have felt-- joy at the priviledge of serving such an honored guest combined with stress of wanting everything to be perfect. And then, to top it all off, she must have assumed that her sister Mary would help her accomplish her goal of serving their honored guest--well, we all know what happens when you assume, and Mary did want to serve their guest...only she had something different in mind.

In reflecting on this story, several questions came to mind: Was Martha WRONG in her feelings of frustration? Was she WRONG to be working in the kitchen instead of worshiping at the Lord's feet? Was she WRONG to want her sister to help her instead of doing all the work herself? As I ask these questions, it occurs to me that the Lord wasn't reprimanding Martha for the work she was doing, but for the spirit that motivated her work. He wasn't asking her to "choose" between work and worshiping at His feet--He was asking her to do both.

The Lord was pointing out to Martha what I am so often guilty of myself: that her service wasn't pointing to others, or more importantly to Him, but to herself. Like Martha grumbling about all the work she had to do (and to her guest!), I too have caught myself "showing" my guests and my family all the work their presense has caused me by my attitude. And I realize I do this because my motivation was asquew in the first place. If Martha had been serving out of pure love for the Lord, she wouldn't have felt "burdened" or "anxious" by her work. In fact, a proper attitude would have made her work a form of worship and therefore would have brought her supreme satisfaction and joy--not to mention, would have made her guest, Jesus, feel that His presense in her home was welcomed rather than disruptive.

I struggle with this myself. I realize that I can be motivated in two different ways when I work, both of which have extremely different outcomes: 1: I can serve my family and friends to show them what a good wife/mother/host I am. (me, me, me), which of course leads to expecting praise, attention, and appreciation for all my hard work. When I don't get this, which of course is inevitable, I will come to resent my work and those I am serving. I will also feel burdened and anxious by my work and all I have to do, since my sense of "self" relies on perfect accomplishment. And, let me not fool myself into thinking that others don't notice that this is my true motivation--it always comes across in my attitude. OR, 2: I can serve Jesus in everything I do, which transforms my work into prayer and praise and leaves me completely satisfied, whether or not I am verbally appreciated. This also places the outcome of my work in God's hands instead of my own, leaving me feeling less burdened and anxious.

To me, Martha is not only a historical person who got to serve Jesus first-hand, but a symbol of the real struggle we wives and mothers face in getting to Heaven through our vocation. But it is exactly through our service to our husbands, children, family and friends that we must grow in holiness and perfection! What we have to do is not abandon our work to sit at the feet of Jesus, but to sit at His feet while we work. This was Martha's mistake--not that she wasn't more like Mary in her service, but that she wasn't more like Mary in her spirit.

And so I am a Modern-Day Martha...striving each day to do Martha work with a Mary attitude.